The Tenderness of Ending
Making Space for What We Feel When Something Ends I've noticed that I am a little sad that summer is ending. It's a feeling not attached to anything that makes a ton of sense for me in the moment, but I'm noticing an external shift. The kids are going back to school. The traffic is changing. The rhythm of the city is shifting. And I find myself wondering whether some part of me is resonating with the end of summer as a loss. There is something very particular about the end of summer and American life. We learn it almost [...]
The Practice of Kindness
The longer I sit with the idea of kindness, the more difficult it becomes to separate it from love. Not the grand declarations of love. Not romance. Not even the love reserved for family and close friends. I mean the quieter form of love—the kind that recognizes our shared humanity. Perhaps kindness is simply love made visible. A warm smile. A patient response. A moment of understanding. A willingness to pause long enough to recognize another person's struggle, even when we cannot fully understand it. Kindness asks very little of us beyond recognizing another human being. What strikes me is [...]
The Power of Surrender
Why letting go isn't giving up—it's becoming fully present. The word surrender is often misunderstood. It evokes images of defeat. Of giving up. Of losing something essential. But I don't experience surrender that way. To me, surrender is the willingness to stop arguing with this moment. It doesn't mean we stop moving toward what matters. It doesn't mean we abandon goals or lose our agency. It means becoming fully available to this moment. Ironically, this often makes us more effective—not less. When we're no longer consumed by resisting reality or wishing things were different, our attention becomes available for something else: responding [...]
The Wisdom of the Spiral: Why Healing Isn’t Linear
I've been thinking about how healing actually works, and one thing I keep coming back to is that healing isn't linear. It would be nice to move through something once and never have to encounter it again. But healing rarely unfolds that way. Instead, we find ourselves revisiting familiar territory—old anxieties, griefs, relationship patterns, and places of pain. And when that happens, it's easy to wonder: "Why am I back here again?" But what if we're not actually back where we started? The situation may look familiar, but you are not the same person you were before. Every day, we [...]
The Intelligence of Survival
We’re Not Broken—We’re Adapted “What if your symptoms are not signs of dysfunction—but evidence of how intelligently you adapted?” I often hear people describe themselves as “broken” or “dysfunctional.” And I understand why—it can feel that way when you’re anxious, shut down, overwhelmed, or caught in patterns you don’t fully understand. But clinically, I don’t experience people that way. I experience them as adapted. Each of us comes into the world with a certain sensitivity—biological, emotional, relational. And over time, we develop ways of organizing ourselves that help us feel safe enough to function in the environments we’re in. Some [...]
The Nervous System Runs the Show
Insight can bring awareness -but true healing is an embodied experience. When I reflect on my own process of healing—and I imagine it will be ongoing for the rest of my life—I can see how long I tried to create change “from the neck up.” I worked to shift my thoughts, behaviors, even emotions. And while that brought awareness, it didn’t always create lasting transformation. It took me years to recognize what was missing. Real change began when I started to include the body When I began to understand the role of the nervous system in shaping how we [...]
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September 14, 2026
September 14, 2026
September 14, 2026